Bard Rock Cafe Episode 7: I Fought the Law

Our heroes try to get out of the sticky situation they got into last time. Can they get away?

Our Cast:

Kenny as the DM

Khadeja as Rook

Stephanie as Epi

Paul as Brock

Tyler as Armbar

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so like thanks to viewers like you and sassy bardrock cafe can exist i guess so like you can find links to sassy gamers our patreon and social media stuff in the show notes just click thanks

previously on bard rock cafe felix hired our heroes for a risky job stealing a ruby dragon statue from the ship of a noble family rook took the day off and the party was joined by the great martine a tabaxi pirate felix recommended things went wrong quickly as dozens of rival thieves and as many guards were at the docks armbar and brock staged a fight to create a distraction but it didn’t stop a magister from approaching epi and martine possessed by wild magic martine blurted out they were hired by felix and fled leaving eppie at the mercy of the magister as brock and armbar stage fight collide of the group of thieves can our heroes make it out of this one find out today on bard rock cafe

oh felix happy scared for his life by the long arm of the law magister coming down with the shackles and we don’t have very long oh felix martine ran away like a coward and he said so rolling just tackled all the guards down things went very wrong oh the jig is up we’re getting out this job went so sideways we got played and now we’re made and we’re hitting the highway

all right welcome back to the bard rock cafe i am kenny your dm for the evening and this is episode seven at the end of last week party found themselves in a bit of a tight spot guards were closing in put shackles on effie and then armbar decided to tackle several of them meanwhile martine has dashed off into the sunset and brock song has cast thunder wave and knocked down a bunch of questionably innocent bystanders and now chaos is just breaking loose however we’re going to start tonight off with a wild magic roll because rock song cast a spell all right so what happens all right i have all three of my dice sets out i’m gonna rotate them like steph does red dice don’t fail me now yeah i rolled a 42. oh you’ve done it now 42. no lie every time i roll i try to remember what number the bubbles were that’s 42. done it you done it now it’s the answer to life the universe and everything it’s gotta be good you roll the dice so you gotta pay the price no mo so roll the 42 i’ll let you know what it triggers if it triggers all right more suspense that was neither good or bad at the exact moment so i i’ll take a somewhat neutral future response just don’t do anything yeah don’t do anything in the middle of combat with 20 plus npcs no problem play dead excuse me i’m not a coward like the great martine yeah the great martine all right so unfortunately ethan could not be with us tonight so instead i am interesting his character as hooking the hell away so martini is effectively out of this fight yes i have no actual qualms with ethan everybody that i’m just making going with what in character happened that’s smart martine given the situation yeah i don’t i don’t even disagree with them i’m kind of jealous to be honest the only one who’s going to survive this i tried to misty step but it didn’t work i couldn’t misty step up

still has the monkey hand thing floating around right monkey foot

and you are in the process of being shackled so you have mere moments to avoid doing so i believe so the good news is we just rolled initiative at the end of last session yeah what did we roll what i forgot so epi you’re up first oh yeah it’s a good thing i’ve been planning this for a while okay i hope yep so epic gets to move big b’s hand on his turn right yes i don’t think i rolled separate enough anyway uh it’s since it’s a bonus action to move the hand i’m gonna have bigby’s hand it just swoops down and grabs epi who is currently disguised as a butler pulls him back and into the water if i can do that okay so you’re leaving me for now i’ll be back your situation is more tentable than effie’s to be fair okay so you are carrying yourself with baby’s hands to the water am i understanding that correctly under the water if i can manage it for some kind of cover and i still have my action but did that work i am just imagining this foot is grabbing you like the bottom of its toes just curling around you and just like hoisting you up and just bringing you underwater just the physical manifestation of feet yeah under the feet under the under defeat everything’s better down where it’s wetter nice no i was i kept it very brief it’s fair use understandable

it’ll come out right it won’t bleep out anything with certain mouth-shaped anyway oh right right you’re fine so the hand can move up to 60 feet so the only person that is currently in melee with you is the magister she is going to allow you to move with the hand you guys are on the dock so it is perfectly within reason for you to find your way underwater in the docks with 60 feet of movement you can do that without engaging any of the guards by going up and over okay you’ll have your action if you would like to do something how long can i hold my breath for what is your bob my con mod is a whopping three i think you can grow gills out yourself still on yeah i’m trying to figure out if i need to do that this turn or a different turn so you would have known you were going underwater you could hold your breath for a number of minutes equal to your con mod okay so i got three minutes and combat and d and d is six seconds per round i think yes so the way that works just so everybody knows you don’t have a chance to hold your breath before something happens you have a number of turns equal to your compound as opposed to minutes so epi you are probably fine what would you like to do so with my action i am going in between two things right now but i think first things first since it has a range of 120 feet it’s time to cast message at a certain rolling arm bar who just saved my ass okay so i would like to bequeath him with the following message tell them kevin with a y made you do it i don’t understand what this means

you don’t get to recast message until like the next turn wait i’m aware now can we have dialogue or is our dialogue still locked in with the turn order for the moment well speaking is a free action if you want to stream something or other forms of communication that don’t require an action okay so my follow-up question is am i still close enough to armbar that i could hear him say that yeah all right i would like to if you would if you permit to use my telepathy to speak to armbar just one-on-one okay and i’m going to assume if that’s also okay that because armbar and i had known me a while armbar knows that i can do this and will not be surprised i would say that’s a fair thing to say you guys have worked together you know each other armbar knows you can speak telepathically you’ve probably at some point in the past told him telepathically to remove someone from the bard rock cafe all right uh armbar what was that what was that about someone told me and say that saying some guy named kevin with a y i want i want to clarify for the audience that i do have the ability to and i intended to have armbar be able to communicate with me telepathically as well so he’s not speaking out loud yup no this is to my brain well that’s how my brain speaks so real quick because speaking while it is a free action does still take time so it is now the guard’s turn so there’s the group of guards over by the guys they pulled out of the water they are putting them in shackles the group that they’re trying to accost is not going willingly they managed to put one of them in shackles while the other four managed to wiggle free the guards that are coming over towards brock and the guys that you knocked over with thunder wave they reach you guys basically say all right you all need to stop right now like they have their swords out like they are ready to go the guards that are around epi or we’re around ebby sort of watches if he goes up and over and then turn to uh converge on farm bar the the three or so that you knocked over stand up two of them are going to try and grapple you i’m too big you’re really not

he always wins

that’s fair i need you to make two athletics checks or dicks or acrobatics whichever one you prefer all right let’s try uh the one i’m good at supposedly i gotta do that twice i got 20. there was the second roll

so with yeah you guys know the drill right but to start with there are two guards one on each arm and you’re just kind of pop by the sailor man just moving and they are moving with you and they are not grappling you at all go ahead and roll 2d 100s for me 121 74 47 yeah sorry 74 and 47. you think you can land on me at the start of each of your turns you gain five temporary hit points

what magic wand make my arm bar grow

down for a little while

that’s right this is how the armbar do true facts about the arm bar he’s big don’t mess rock song it’s your turn all right and you said that the guards are right in front of me telling me to stop what i’m doing yeah there’s about i’d say about six or seven of them that are starting to come up and circle around you all right i immediately stick my hands up in the air go hey fellas everything’s okay i i was scared i freaked out my bad and while i’m saying that to them i uh i can’t can i see the magister from here okay i also want to use my telepathy on her while i’m speaking these words to send her a telepathic message uh but question it’s my brain so i can control what my voice sounds like in my mind right like i don’t have to use my own speaking voice i’ll let you roll a performance check for it all right enrolling performance i rolled an eight plus five plus seven fifteen okay what would you like your voice to sound like magister a pleasure to meet you i’m trying to sound like uh i’m trying to sound like a very uh maniacal like uh i have i don’t know what kevin with a y looks like but i’m trying to sound like what i believe this character this kevin of the y would sound like based on what i’ve heard which is very little okay and i actually say i’m kevin with a y pleasure to meet you this is very standard okay is she able to respond yes i give so if i give her the ability to respond will she know who she’s communicating with or can she only respond to me or would like do she know she’s responding to me i would have to actually read the ability uh let me go that’s fine let me go ahead and find it dude you can speak telepathically any creature you can see provided there with any number of feet equal to 10 times your level uh you don’t need to share a language with the creature for the understand when you speak to this creature you can use your action to give the creature the ability to speak telepathy with you for one hour or until you end this action as an effect to use this ability the creature must be able to see you must be within this traits range okay so i guess my question is first of all is that your actions yes that is my action is i’m going to give them the ability to respond to me okay so you now have a telepathic link with

one of the things so i had to separate with armbar to give it to her boss where’d you go


stealth of deception whichever one you prefer all right i’m gonna go ahead with here’s my i’m gonna go with stealth i rolled 16 plus six is 22. god i love being a bard

okay she still turns and faces you it seems that she has seen through the fact that you are the one speaking to her her role was higher that didn’t work

should have given myself bardic inspiration so if you’re back in your head you should surrender and come quietly this doesn’t have to end violently just come along that’s fine uh one condition though my uh my friend he is actually not related to this i charmed him so please let him go we’re all deception i’m can i give myself bart inspiration for this one in advance i do have a bonus action you absolutely can i rolled a seven plus three is uh ten i’m not even going to burn the bardic inspiration on that okay that’s good because she rolled on 19. she does not believe you says no you didn’t he’ll be coming along too i’m gonna open up the telepathic chat again with one of the brock yeah so i can still send i can still send rolling messages you just can’t respond so i message rolling to just go quietly i don’t wanna beat these guys

what gives being arrested is a lot less inconvenient inconvenient than being executed armbar i’d rather not die today i’ll go along with that i guess okay all right so use your ass in your bonus action is there anything else you would like to do uh i got nothing okay it is now the magister’s turn so would you get spirit bomb us or something there’s one person missing yep so she is going to make her way over to where you went underwater

and to to clarify i did go as far as i could like i was pulled out so that’s like that’s like what 40 feet off the dock you see it moves off it’s underwater um can i clarify one thing am i most is my is my form mostly obscured by the big b hand or am i still kind of visible and it’s gripped am i still a baller i mean bigby’s hand is definitely providing you i would say full cover so any attacks would be on bigby’s hand and not you but you are still visible because it is an ethereal kind of hand that you can kind of see through okay if you recall you are charming fighter yep she knows this

she’s going to cast a message oh boy

oh no i’m going to say listen you should come along quietly your friends are and i can probably arrange it so that you don’t get any charges from this you just want to work this all out sounds like a lie can i respond to her message sure okay from 40 feet away underwater i would like to respond with we really were put up to this are we able to keep this quiet if we come along quietly that seemed to be what she was communicating to you however she used her action to use message once already fair enough so i guess and it was a message so i couldn’t hear it right like nobody could hear it except for eppie nope just happy okay definitely saw her cast the spell but as for what it is you know i’ve seen epicast the spell before can i roll to see if i know what spell it is yeah you see her pull out a copper wire like oh no she’s cast a message so you know you know message was test because you’ve seen it before um it is now the thug’s turn so there’s two groups there’s the group of about three that were around you brock one of them was not knocked backwards the other two were knocked back 10 feet they are looking around at the guards that are surrounding them they realize very quickly that they’re kind of outmatched and so they put their hands up and they are surrendering uh the one that did not get knocked back said look we didn’t do anything he instigated this the five that were in the water one of them has shackles on the other four managed to break for air to avoid getting the shackles put on them a bunch of rolls take place behind the scenes that y’all don’t see uh one of the guards gets thrown into the water and as he is wearing heavy armor he is starting to sink those five are now booking it that is the thug’s turn roland coming at the very last would you like to do well roland is sorely upset because brock is making him deceased his attack and how big is he right now roll it yeah i think he means the bonus hp oh it was bonus hp i thought it was yeah we were joking about you getting bigger because your hp is getting bigger i was hoping i was bigger no you’re like just tougher you have five more hit points than you did last round um roland is just like gonna pout and he’s gonna like sit down like just like like quickly just like sit down like it’s like as soon as possible and crosses ours and just pout uh can i use my free action to yell at armbar to save the heavy guy that’s sinking armbar can’t swim you can’t swim [Laughter] it’s fine it’s fine everything’s fine i feel like that’s their entire interaction is just save the guy i can’t swim you know i can’t swim brock come on i i did not know that you can’t swim

should we save him uh i think that we’ll get a more lenient sentence if we help them sort out the situation we created with my out of character thought also do you really want to canonically commit to not being able to swim that’s a big commitment i don’t know if i can do that it’s all good it’s not gonna do what roland would do channel your inner arm bar i feel like roland would just be upset because he couldn’t smash i mean you could smash that guy’s armor because he’s not going to be able to wear it to get pulling back out of the wall how far away is the guard from where i am i can only move so far so you could probably get into the water where he is you would not be able to get back out in the same turn would i be able to carry him oh yeah all right i’ll jump in after his ass

yeah knowing me i’ll get stuck i will i’ll like fail all my strength for those you know armbar he tried learning how to read how to swim from a book listen i learned how to swim right now

this is where a young armbar becomes a man armbar all right so you run off the guards are kind of looking back at the magister and then the armbar and they let you go you jump into the water because you reacted so quickly the guard has not sunk too far you’re able to get him and uh go ahead and roll me an athletics check to swim with a guy wearing heavy armor around your shoulders oh uh really quick here when i yelled him to do that i gave him pardon inspiration how you already gave your part of inspiration oh oh that’s right i already used it for the bonus action i gave it to myself that’s fair before i roll i just want to say this

it’s my first time but i can do it [Music] i don’t think they can do it

remember when you if you would trigger your rage remember you advantage on strength checks for next round that’s my action right all right if you would like to start raging as a bonus action before you make this roll i’ll allow it retroactively i mean if if we’re if we’re all at all honest it’s kind of like if at first i don’t like if my first armbar is trying and he cannot lift this guy i feel like he would go enraged and just like put in that extra mile like that extra effort and go for it so we can rage all right so we’ll come back to that next round then all right you guys see some of the other groups of thugs that were off in the crowd watching uh they have started to scatter they are fading away into the crowd that is gathering to just watch the spectacle uh they they get the you get the sense that nobody really wants to be here right now too much of a scene has been caused

okay so i see her it’s just like a super friendly acquaintance and you know a good buddy you view her in the best possible light okay okay so exactly the light that that cop was trying to get you to uh confess for your own well good would be viewed anyway and i see armbar has jumped in to save the guard presumably yeah well i mean he just streamed it very loudly that also works okay i feel like this group ever gets separated or planning to just all find armbar um i can’t do it but i’ll try what does that mean let’s see i have one question so now that i’m about 40 feet out into the docks knowing what i know about this city if i were to book it out into the bay would they catch me and or have ships that could just pop out or something i said if you just continue leaving yeah if i did that would i know how that would go roll i will say just throw me a straight intelligence checking advantage okay all right we’re gonna go with the shiny dice we rolled a 5 out of 15 in my intelligence mod the saving throw one right i just whatever your intelligence modifier is add that oh okay so my intelligence is a plus four so 15 plus four is a it’s a pretty solid pretty solid roll yeah okay you get the sense that you might be able to get away you also know that if your friends are going quietly there is a pretty good chance that information about you is going to be obtained anyway

and you also know that the magister is offering to help this is true okay knowing what i know go ahead and roll inside for me too for that right okay i’ll even let your own advantage okay yeah i want to know if this magister’s on the level all right we got metal dice and water dice we’re gonna hope for the best okay and it was an inside roll right yep one was a six the other is a 16 and my inside is plus 4 so that’s a 30 20. okay you believe it okay i’m going to cast message response to her i believe you i will come quietly on one condition that i can keep up this disguise until we are in private she kind of [ __ ] her head a little bit thinks about it that’s okay why not and i’m going to uh use bigby’s hand to pull myself in wait no i have yeah no i’m gonna pull myself in with bigby’s hand i i like my full cover okay so you are now basically you’re back with the match you yeah you dropped his hand does thinking hand drop you big feet hand just you know like the little claw toys picks me up out of the water plops me in front and i’m just gonna look at her and i’m gonna be like because i’m still butlery at the moment i really didn’t cast that piggy’s hand i don’t know how to get rid of it could you just spell it for me she seems like she’s considering what you’re saying and she doesn’t quite believe you i’m just gonna doesn’t make sense yeah fair enough but also she doesn’t get the sense that you’re lying it’s the curious look is that your turn um i think i would like to hold my action well your action was message right i forgot about that and i used bonus action the big bees hand my little butt over there so can i hold my movement sure what’s the trigger if she’s lying about um like what will trigger you to use your movement and what will you do okay if my friends are getting if she’s not going to let us come quietly and like starts whacking on my friends that i’m gonna book it okay so she double crosses us yeah all right so the guards at this point um they are giving chase to the five that are running they have caught the ones that they have caught the one that had shackles put on him you know because he has shackles so he’s not running very quickly they are attempting to put shackles on all of them do any of you resist this is that necessary we’re coming quietly also uh really quick do i do i not get a turn because i can stop three of those five guys uh their turn is up next actually okay so like first of all we are going quietly second of all if you don’t shackle us i can help you catch those three without even moving them from this spot so the guards that are about to put shackles on you pause kind of look at the magister and the mattresses says they have to shackle you but show me all right i literally turn and go hey you guys should come back here and i cast and thrall on them so that’ll be your turn does anybody else resist the shackles no kind of already have them mostly on or completely on i they will be completely on after this [Music]


armbar appreciates a shiny new bracelets that’s right they’re rather tight though yeah and uh for clarification i am aiming at whatever the three front runners are the ones that look like they’re the fastest okay but i didn’t answer from effie first also what is what is your save pc save dc 13. i don’t know happy i’m not gonna resist i figure if i’m coming quietly i’m gonna commit so everyone is shackled except roxanne brock you screamed that uh two of the guys that are running slow turn around start heading back the other two continue to flee those two that are enthralled get shackled they also content they now put shackles on you as well if you’re do you resist them putting the shackles off uh you know i i really thought i could leave with dignity but i’m not gonna fight it my father will hear about this the magister does not seem concerned but she does say your cooperation will be noted very well take them to the guard house i will deal with them momentarily hey that’s where we’re staying uh no we’re staying in the castle district that’s the black staff’s house we’re probably not welcome there anymore after this actually

yeah we’ll be fine we can talk ourselves out of this episode 14 we we escape jail we get out of jail now question is the magister escorting us with these guards or just the guards that shackled us just the guards that shackled you oh we can get out of this all right uh can we talk to them on our way to the guard house sure i say to the guard uh so my father is uh you know bird song i some some folks call him pop uh he you know he supplies many of the guards to the town i’d really appreciate if somebody could contact him on my behalf i think he would want to know what’s going on with me one of the guys just kind of looks and says i have a feeling he’s going to find out yeah i would just rather he find out on my terms if that’s all right we will talk with the magister i’m sure she can arrange something thank you

have you ever dreamt of being a superhero legends of superhero story is a new actual play podcast using the legends superhero role-playing game system available on all podcast platforms this exciting new superhero tabletop rpg follows our game master jack and our fledgling hero is played by chad emily amanda and daniel as they work their way through their origin story and beyond listen in as they discover their powers and abilities let’s hope they learn to work together as a team in time to save the world and truly become legends legends of superhero story is available on all podcast platforms for more information follow us on social media at the legends cast or visit our website forward slash the legends cast so it’s going to take you guys about 10-15 minutes to walk to the guard house it shackles with the guards you’re also in you also have about you have the three thugs that rock song thunder waved and the other three thugs that were in the water so there’s just a lot of y’all here is anybody doing anything or do you go quiet uh i’m going quietly unless there’s trouble from the other uh i don’t know what the word for people are in the process of being arrested perps unless the other perps cause trouble i’m going quietly okay happy ah is the magistrate near you are still charmed but the magister is staying behind for the moment does that mean she is here or she’s like behind us she is not with the group oh okay would i be able to cast a spell without anybody noticing you could try uh i actually was about to ask for myself i’m curious if i would be able to tell if these shackles restrict the use of magic so it depends on the spell in general no if it has a somatic component like you have to wave your arms around or something maybe so i will tell you if the spell is one that requires a kind of movement you wouldn’t be able to do okay circle back around to me my my brains are cooking something it ain’t done yet but it’s a cooking armbar are you doing anything um no i think i think armbar would probably stay quiet because of rock kind of leading the way like he kind of looks up to brock so i’ll just uh fall quietly behind brock is putting all of his faith in his father front in the bail money okay all right

it’s all on you the thugs seem to be going quietly are you doing anything i think

i think i’m gonna go quietly because i have i have i have a lie i’m cooking up it’ll be fine okay you with your lies it’s mine it’s totally fine you are all taken to the guard house you are each given individual cells it is so the way the guard house is structured right there’s the front reception area there is a side section where like some funks are for the guys that are off duty right now then there is a third area that is the largest section that has different cells that are walled off from each other however there’s only about eight cells so not everybody fits in these cells so two guards stay behind after you guys are locked up along with a couple of the thugs and then the rest of the thugs are being escorted to a different guard house from where i am can i see anybody so they are side by side you you would know which cells everybody is in but you can’t see i mean to your left and right is just a solid wall made of stone you can punch a hole in it if you want i would like to try one thing while i’m in myself okay i would like to um since you can use thaumaturgy to uh cause flames to flicker are there any open flames around here oh yeah there’s torches on the wall i would like to quietly cast thaw maturgy and see if magic works in here it does okay uh do they take away all of our stuff yes please can i just keep one of my musical instruments to occupy myself while i’m in myself please oh no so that you they have taken all of your inventories there’s a chest that holds everybody’s stuff you guys have your clothes and your shackles and that’s about it but you know where all your stuff is it’s like this is right there it’s just all right i start rhythmically tapping my shackles against the bars to make music because they wouldn’t let me keep a traditional instrument go ahead roll performers at this advantage

that’s eight plus seven is fifteen and ten so we’re gonna keep the fifteen okay so even though you have like not the best tools still got kind of a nice beat going like you can see well no you can’t there’s solid stone walls you get the sense that something there’s like a cell across from me right i can probably see the couple people cross from me now it’s they’re eight cells side by side okay the structure is such that you don’t see who is in the other cells that is the idea but you do hear somebody tapping along to the beat the next cell over and hey effie and ron barber probably have a good idea where oh yeah all right is there anything else you guys would like to do i’m gonna start dancing like m c hammer roll performance at disadvantage because you are shackled

yep you are dancing by yourself proficiency in all the roles he’s bad at that’s disadvantage she rolled that forward

it doesn’t mean i did it well nobody’s watching but i’m happy that’s all that matters happy is there anything you’re doing well well everyone is distracted by the music and the attempts at dancing would anybody notice if i ritually cast unseen servant i think you need components to do a ritual cast yeah but to be fair it is a piece of string and a bit of wood and that i keep in my sleeves that is a solid no gotcha okay good try i’m gonna say no because it also is a somatic component and you are shackled up so yeah i’m gonna say no to that one okay then can i cast thaumaturgy to um cause the doors to open if they’re unlocked

what doors are unlocked well the door that leads up the stairs back to the main area goes glam and it flies open while all eight of the cell doors go click click click and they rattle a whole lot don’t fly open all right can i actually cast another spell sure so i just realized i took damage at the end of last episode so i’m gonna cast healing word on myself okay you know why i’m doing this too it’s one all right so 1d4 i rolled a four so i only took like three damage so i don’t even need a modifier but there’s a reason i did that other than to heal myself yep trying to get a wild magic surge do i get one you don’t i’m sorry it’s worth a try [Music] hey what happened to bigby’s hand this belt you asked so nicely eventually they got around to it yeah fair enough i was just sitting there like what happened to it sorry i should have made that clearer that’s on me no they did not let you keep the gigantic vicki’s hand and walked down the street that would have made us that would have made a scene i could have been carried gently with a giant hand and i’m assuming after a bit my disguise self wears off and i pull my cloak over my head so it’s not as obvious what my face looks like well so alt yourself lasts for an hour you’re about 20 minutes into that hour right now all right then i’m keeping that up

it’ll take about another 30 minutes before the magister gets here if you’re all just waiting quietly that goes without the incident the next time a guard comes in i ask them for a glass of water they don’t give it to you i don’t even get to roll persuasion for a glass of water they are not giving y’all anything in these cells they are waiting for orders from their superior officer all right i guess i’ll just i i’m going to write a sternly worded letter to whoever’s in charge about the conditions prisoners are kept in they can’t even have water all right tunisia yes welcome back

so while they’re having all this chaos going on you were off doing your own thing specifically felix has a separate task for you all right how do i find out about a task well felix comes to you you find yourself off in your room you wake up felix is in the window again good morning i have a job for you rook rolls over rubs her eyes yes up felix so there have been some crazy things happening since that meteor struck i’d like to get a copy of the report and um how do you suppose one might get their hands on such a report well it’s being transferred today from the guild of magisters to the black staff herself [Music] i would like you to snatch it replace it with this and he hands you a sealed scroll with an official looking seal on it says don’t open it just swap it sure rook says absolutely um so let me get this straight do you want me to like do an intercept well uh there’s going to be a magister probably the same one that was in the basement looking at whatever that was he’ll be bringing his report i’ll create a disturbance don’t worry you’ll know it the magister will be required to intervene and when you see a chance just lift it off of his pocket yep sounds like something in my line all right so um point me in the right direction and i’ll uh get started but what about everybody else they’ll be fine they have their own job yeah pete the distraction i have the utmost faith in their abilities

it’s ready to go all right felix so he leads you oh my god [Laughter] he looks you [ __ ] you are moving to intercept the the magister he is making his way slowly down the road he has two guards with him doesn’t seem too concerned he stops in one shop and then another seems like he’s taking his time like this is the only thing he has for today so he’s not too big of a rush okay so i’m guessing that i’m watching from somewhere kind of inconspicuous i guess what i want to do is get behind him so can i just walk past him trying not to cause try not to um look suspicious sure roll a little stealth check i mean you’re you’re in a public place you don’t have to be hiding per se just right inconspicuous yeah trying to walk like a normal human being okay so the role was 22. oh yeah you are just another person on the road just happened to be going the same direction he is okay so i’m behind him and i’m watching his back you do see he has a [Music] basically a a hip pouch it’s got a latch on it it does seem to be it’s one of those basic locks you know like you know the journals that have the locks on the front i twist the thing at the front like that’s like when i say lock it’s not complicated but it’s also not one of those that’s just gonna come open but you do get the sense based on how it’s shaped that the scroll that he’s transporting is probably in there so as much as rook would like to maybe bump into him and try and take the chance i was promised a distraction which would up my chances so i’m walking behind but staying behind and keeping an eye out for that distraction which apparently is amazing so you get about two or three blocks and it happens you see a cart filled with cabbages completely uncontrolled barreling down a hill towards a t-intersection it is the intersection that you guys are approaching and in front of this cart is a no running very quickly and screaming at the top of his lungs in the highest pitch squeak scream that you can imagine just oh my god

the guards are just stunned the magister is like what what is that so we have a we have a car and a person running towards us um okay so i’m going to play the look out magister and sort of throw myself at him action star style where i grab him from behind and and like throw myself to the side like no so i’m gonna try that i don’t know what that role is all right it’s gonna be a couple of rolls because there’s a few things going on yes so let’s start with acrobatics okay as you do your action dive thing yes okay so that’s that’s an 11 total i don’t know how well that went okay so i mean it’s not the most action star dive ever uh go ahead and roll performance performance is charisma which is

oh wow i rolled the natural one that’s a big yes all right oh my acting is so bad so go ahead and roll two d-100s for me all right eight and twenty eight and twenty oh boy okay uh all right cool so the magister fails at avoiding your your tackle as well you rolled like an 11 he rolled a natural one okay so wait has this magister been to the bard rock yes does he have wild magic he does not darn yeah so you have now tackled the magister to the ground which the cart was not anywhere close to hitting anybody except for this gnome who is you’ve never really seen a gnome run this fast like you know the scooby doo thing where they do it with their feet yeah that’s kind of what’s going on okay magister is on the ground under you at this point the guards are now like what what what they’re looking back and forth and back and forth um this is the same magister that had the sand problem and kevin and all of that this is that guy wouldn’t that make me he does have wild magic no that was epi causing the sand before that was in the presence of the obelisk oh okay so oh he you can do wild magic in the presence of the obelisk but not have gained wild magic is what we’re i’m

yeah in character i do not understand i’m trying to understand why he didn’t at a natural one have more sand happening okay trying to personally understand the rules of our universe gotcha so at this point the cart is you know out of control swerving back and forth the gnome somehow dodges left and the cart dodges left with him and he just screams some more and dodges right the car seems to dodge right with him completely out of control the guards are they can’t really do anything the manager’s like get off why you do see the cart start to swerve towards you guys what would you like to do okay so i do another oh so what i’m gonna try and do is roll with the magister oh like like away from the carts okay took to the side so i’ll roll while i’m still holding him okay and if possible oh okay no i’ll just stick with that what else you want to do well i would uh i don’t know if things are working too fast but i maybe i would like to try and at least open the side bag okay so roll i’ll say acrobatics and then slide a pain okay here’s my acrobatics that’s 15. okay he’s 11. okay so you manage to roll with the magister that is enough of a sleight of hand to open this very simple lock the pouch is open uh in the midst of your roll the scroll falls out of the couch okay he does not seem to be aware yet he is still trying to get his bearings of what’s happened okay i would like to roll off of him and do the switch okay yes the note darts past you and the cart topples over and there are cabbages everywhere around you creating enough of a distraction people aren’t really looking at you like they are right because you’re making a bit of a scene in the middle of all this but also like cabbages so go ahead and roll sleight of hand at advantage to swap the scroll cases as you roll away so one was a critical failure and the other one was ten good lord well yeah you don’t have to roll because this is an advantage so you don’t trigger wild magic your role was a four yeah however now i get to roll to see if anybody notices what you’re oh my god this is still going better than our keeper by like leagues on the edge of my damn seat i believe in you fingers crossed all right i actually have to go look up the guard stat block for this hangout all right one of the guards caesar swap out the scroll cases everybody else is just completely sidetracked so while the one guard runs over the magister are you okay are you okay another guy’s like wait a minute he sees you picking up the scroll case and like pocketing it trying to leave the other one there you there stop what did you do i am going to okay i am going to try and say what this i’m picking up his scroll for him it fell at this point the magister snaps around and like hats his backpack he’s like what give me that she’s like standing up and coming over to you and like holding out his hand and the guard’s like wait she’s trying to swap them she has two i repeat no i’m not i’m just picking it up for you i noticed it rolled out when i um saved you back there go ahead and roll the section fingers crossed fingers crossed i rolled a five okay i mean i roll a total of five wow oh my god okay so they both see through that decision that moves pretty bad oh my god okay and as they hang up as they are about to reach you everything goes dark and there’s a shadow wait what we’re being tricked you would recognize that you are now in a field of darkness like the cell aha okay um is this something where dark vision is a thing oh no or not dark vision doesn’t see in magical darkness okay fine okay i am going to turn around and run and know there’s probably a cabbage or two that’s gonna trip me i’m gonna say make a dick save yeah but honey oh boy i believe in you so much thank you 15 total okay you manage to either squash the cabbages or dodge around them so that you don’t just slip what you hear behind you is the sound of guards and the magister is slipping around because cabbages [Music] you very quickly find yourself outside of the darkness field and you do catch a glimpse of the gnome that was running he’s like giving you two really big thumbs up right he’s like go go go [Music] i love cabbage man yup cabbage man

whatever a cabbage can i give him a nod which is the best thing rook will ever give you and uh i do indeed run okay so the darkness does get dispelled but by that point you’re just gone and the gnome kind of just fades away into the crowd too like there are whistles being blown guards being summoned damn but you’re gone i’m gone with that scroll thank god so felix you run into him pretty soon after he was keeping an eye on things it looked like he waits for you to get safely away and he kind of drops in says that was thrilling to watch i had fun i bet you did felix so much so do you have it yep you wouldn’t ask me if i wouldn’t be you wouldn’t have asked me if i couldn’t get it you’re correct ah well i like to think that so about your friends

we might need to uh interview i asked them for something and they didn’t follow through oh what did you ask them to do i asked them to steal a very very large ruby so like my job well i thought perhaps all of them working together might make it work but it turns out they haven’t perfected the art rook rolls our eyes alright where are they right now they’re on their way to the guard house in shackles now come with me we need to organize an intervention thank you for listening to barbra cafe you can find more episodes on have you considered becoming a patron you can get wild rewards like access to our patrons only discord tarot readings from rook and access to exclusive one-shot campaigns set in the bard rock universe led by our dm kenny visit bardrock cafe to find out more until next time rock